Are there times when you pray that you will be able to be loving all day long with your partner, yet suddenly, an argument goes out of control when that’s the last thing either of you want? Do you feel stuck when you try to change these patterns? Do you sometimes have secret thoughts of quitting the relationship, yet you know you love each other and there’s enough good “stuff” to hold tight and invest in some counseling?
Well, I know it takes courage, however, I invite you to give me a call and set up an appointment to talk about all of this confusion of feelings and thoughts and interactions. Please call me before you quit or settle for a “cease fire” and/or a level of quiet disconnection.
News Flash! Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is the the most successful and longest lasting therapy for couples and marriages. Research shows it helps partners become more securely attached (and, by the way, loving) with each other.
Relationships bring out our needs, anxieties and conflicts with people in our current life. And relationships are often affected by our past with parents, friends and former partners.
When we enter into a relationship (marriage or otherwise), we expect to be loved and accepted for who we are and to feel safe. Often individuals and their partners can be influenced by their personal legacies as well as by new triggers and current raw spots. Of course you want to turn your dysfunctional “dance” into a healthy one; and I want to help you do just that.
Therapy Approach
My work with couples focuses on helping partners identify their attachment style and understand how their different styles affect their interactions with one another. Couples often get stuck in disconnection. My goal is to help you and your partner actively sculpt your path back to intimacy so that you will both feel nurtured, loved, safe and connected. The EFT model is perfect for this process.
❤️By way of full transparency, I want you to know that I’m licensed by the State of California, so I’m not going to impose my faith or beliefs or you or anyone in my office. I have been a Christian since I was 10 years old, and yet I’ve worked well with couples from just about every faith. The important thing is to address spiritual issues if you or your partner think they contribute to conflict or even just a detached state.
While I definitely utilize the EFT model, I will closely attune to you and your cycle and incorporate what will be most useful in helping you and your partner break out of your negative cycle (“dance”). Working together, you will develop a new heart to heart relationship. ❤️ In other words, a more secure attachment, and a more deeply attuned love for each other.
Peggy Bolcoa, LMFT, PhD offers Individual Therapy, and well as Couples Counseling and Marriage Counseling in Costa Mesa, CA.,Newport Beach, Huntington Beach and Irvine, CA.
